His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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