they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
