This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
