dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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