Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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