i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
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I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
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He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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