Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
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Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
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I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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