No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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