guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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