I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
