Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
