girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
