Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
