four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
