we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
