just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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