I swear she didn't look like that last week.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
