I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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