Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
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What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
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Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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