i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize