is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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