I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
