3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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