you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
There are leaves in my underwear?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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