Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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