You really coming over, don't trick.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
