I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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