I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize