I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
