eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
