I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
