you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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