No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Are we still banned from the library?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
