he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
