i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
