This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I deserve this hangover.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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