Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
