Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
