it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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