I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
