Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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