accomplished twins. life is a go
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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