so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
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