I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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