I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
