yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
