I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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