If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
