...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
and she was petting her beer can
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you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
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do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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