Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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