Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
