So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
