he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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