I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
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He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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