I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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