he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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