i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
