What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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