when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My vagina is very pro this idea
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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