I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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