At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
