The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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