Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
