I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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